Guidoed-Out

The 70s were the decade when everybody suddenly "discovered" their ethnic roots. For those of us of Italian ancestry, this could take the form of anything from learning a bit of the language of the ancestral land (a good thing) to the peculiar phenomenon known as getting "Guidoed-Out" (really dumb).

I went to college with a whole lot of guys who got into the Guido routine. It could usually take two forms for men:

1. The Fonz look. Fonzie was a greaser character from the TV series "Happy Days." Sure, he was played by a Jewish actor, but Fonz clones were not exactly into authenticity. Fonz clones typically wore DA type haircuts, leather jackets with fur collars and sleeveless t-shirts. My pal JT used to joke that we could get rich by parking a 50s convertible in the school lot, and then charging the Fonzies a few bucks a head to take their pictures behind the wheel or leaning on the fender. Fonzies tended to be politically conservative, although often disruptive in class. They were superficial rebels, but were really stuck in the 1950s when it came to values.

2. The Travolta Clones. These guys took their inspiration from that certain #$#$#@%$%$^^ film. They differed from the Fonzies chiefly in terms of dress. On the inside they were the same.

3. Rocky Clones. These were like Fonzies, except more athletic.

Regardless of whether one was a Fonz, Rocky or Travolta Clone, wearing a "cornu" was standard practice for Guidos. It's essentially a small model of a horn worn around the neck for good luck. I researched the symbol years later and found out that it, in fact, came from Greece. They also tossed around Italian phrases, although few were motivated to actually learn the language. Big cars, surface machismo, flashy jewelry and general conspicuous consumption characterized the Guido male. (I said "surface machismo" because their girlfriends usually controlled them with iron hands).

There was actually a guy from Italy at our school. He used to get mad as hell when he saw guys trying to be Guidoed-Out." "They t'ink t'ey're Italian!!! Look at me! I'm Italian! We don't act like t'at!"
I was sure he was right, and for years I have heard Italians ridicule the Guido mystique.